Nowadays, I am happily married to the witch of my dreams. However, once upon a time, I was a single pagan looking for my Merlin. A Merlin in his youth that is, but wise beyond imagining and in tune with the world around him. Someone calm and kind that lived in the woods and talked to the animals. You could look into his eyes and find the secrets of the universe... Okay, okay, that may have been a very far-fetched fantasy so I will explain myself before you start to gag.
When I first started my pagan path, I was single and searching. I dated a few men who were not pagans and I really didn't connect with them. Of course, the discovery of my path was all I wanted to talk about so I might have seemed a trifle self-absorbed. Then, I came to the conclusion that if I dated only pagan men I would be more understood and have more in common with that person. Consequently, it's one of the best decisions I ever made. As you all know, our belief system is an intimate one and being able to share it with another on such a personal level makes it all the more beautiful. It also binds your relationship in ways that you never could with a non-pagan person.
So, I started actively looking within my newfound circle of companions and found that a friend had the same curiosity that I had about dating and we decided to experiment together. Since we were both pagan we had a lot to share and I believed that my fantasy had come to life! We attended a few circles, had a ritual of our own, and shared spell components. I thought to myself that nothing could go wrong. Then, the mundane world stepped in and I found that he had just as many faults as any non-pagan person. I was crushed! To make matters worse, the more I thought about it the more I saw that I was the very same way! Both of us had disillusioned each other. Now this person is one of my dearest and closest friends and I am very grateful for that. I think we both learned a valuable lesson and we can laugh about it.
Of course, sometimes it takes a few knocks on the head to fully let something sink in. The next pagan I dated was someone from the same tradition as me, but higher in level. Stars filled my eyes when he paid attention to me and listened to what I had to say. Again, I let my fantasies overwhelm my common sense and it was another lesson learned. Yet, if I didn't go through these trials then maybe my husband and I would have never dated. Maybe we had to have our lessons learned before finding one another.
If you are a single pagan, my bitchery to you is to flush all the fantasies from your head and, instead, see the real magic that a person has inside of them. There as many flaky pagans out there filled with crap as there are non-pagans. Take your time, go with your gut, and your High Priest or Priestess will come to you. :)
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